Becoming a Dad

by PFP Board Member David D’Amico

Our adoption journey began in the Spring of 2013. We were working with a private agency and could not have been happier with the services they provide to prospective parents and birth families.They helped us feel so energized and excited to raise a child. We soaked up every minute of our adoption journey, attending workshops, practicing swaddles and other techniques, and talking with every parent and prospective parent we met along the way. We asked many questions and read everything we could on adoption, including all the horror stories. We were focused and there was no turning back.

We went through the usual background checks and home studies, which turned out to be more bark than bite. We fully expected someone to walk through our house wearing white gloves checking for dirt, but that wasn’t the case. Our adoption coordinator was so friendly that our meetings often felt like old friends getting together to catch up. At least our house got a much-needed cleaning!

Compiling our profile book, on the other hand, was quite a daunting task. This was our first opportunity to make an impression on potential birth moms, and as far as we were concerned, a great first impression was everything. Luckily, we had just attended a week-long family reunion and had come home with a ton of great pictures with my large family, including lots of pictures with the kids.

Once our book was finished, which included pictures and autobiographies, we entered the pool of prospective parents. This was where the real challenge began – the agonizing wait. We had no choice but to give up our ability to control the process and put our blind faith in the Universe. As time moved on it was nearly impossible to not think about where we were in our adoption journey.

Had our profile been shown yet?
Had we been passed over by any birth moms?
How was our profile being interpreted?
Did we include the right pictures?

A million things ran through our minds and there was no stopping it. But, we were advised to keep busy, so we did. We went out on date nights, slept in, went on spontaneous adventures around the city and did all the selfish things a new parent can no longer do (or at the very least, can only do very infrequently).

Four months of patient waiting had passed when suddenly, we got “the call.” Our adoption coordinator told us that we had been picked! We could not believe it, but deep down I felt that this was truly meant to be and that we were finally going to become dads. During the next two months we built a solid foundation with the woman who picked us. It was truly magical. We instantly clicked with her, and all the pieces seemed to be coming together.

In late March, our son was born as healthy as could be. He has been an absolute miracle in our family. Each day is filled with new learning experiences and challenges, but we are rising to the occasion and doing the best job that we know we can do.

I used to think I knew what busy looked like — and then I became a parent. Each day goes by faster than the one before, and the only thing we can do is try to soak up every minute of every day that we get to spend with our beautiful son. It’s incredible to experience the love that a child brings into your life. It’s truly indescribable but it is real and it grows exponentially. It can make you overcome obstacles and bring you to tears. The night before we took our son home from the hospital, I bawled my eyes out, uncontrollably.

Suddenly, it hit me: I am a dad.